The ABC Technique
- A = Adversity – The problem
- B = Beliefs – The person’s beliefs about their problem
- C = Consequences – What will happen because of the problem
Parents tend to focus on A: “What’s wrong?” “What happened?” and C: “What are you going to do about it?” “How can I help you solve the problem?”
You need to help your teen listen to their inner dialogue. Their negative self talk can be:
- Everything bad always happens to me!
- The teacher hates me!
- I can’t do anything right, I’m so stupid.
- Nothing I try ever works.
- No one likes me.
When most parents hear these types of statements from their kids, they immediately try to fix it by contradicting them:
- Of course the teacher likes you, honey!
- No, no, you’re not stupid!
- Everyone loves you!
- You have so many friends!
This is very invalidating for your teen. They start believing that they can’t trust their own thoughts and emotions.
You need to listen and validate their feelings. This way the thoughts can be removed in a more organic way.It has to come from them with real examples.
Getting Rid of the Negative Thoughts
Make a list of all the messages you have in your head then next to it write how they make you feel. To help you I’ve written some. You can use them if they are relevant to you or write your own.
Focusing on the Positive
Fill the table answering the following questions.
Does your teen need help? Book your free call and let’s talk about it
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