The person we talk the most with is ourselves. We talk to ourselves all day long, every day. You make a decision, analyze a situation and draw conclusions all day with your inner dialogue. There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to yourself. It’s completely natural. Everybody is doing it.
Most of us do it in our head and some people need to actually say it out loud. In both cases, again, it’s all completely normal. We’re thinking things out. Inner dialogue simply refers to your thoughts or that little voice in your head that is helping you analyze what is going on around you and make decisions accordingly. It’s a 24/7 job.
This is why you have to be very aware of it and watch what kind of inner dialogue you have. You can then capture how you make a decision and most importantly how you talk to yourself.
The problem with inner dialogue is that if you don’t pay attention to it, it may go in the wrong direction for you. Who needs enemies when you spend your day insulting yourself already?
What would happen if you were to put your attention to your inner dialogue? Listen to the way you talk to yourself, and the way you react to some situations. Let’s see.
Negative Self-Talk
The most common sentences you tell yourself all day are usually negative ones such as:
- I’m so stupid
- I can never do anything right
- Why does it never work for me
- This test is too hard for me
- I’m not intelligent enough to succeed
- Everyone is so much better than me, I’m insignificant
- Why are they laughing, I bet they are laughing at me
- I have way too much homework; I’ll never get it all done
- Nothing ever fits me. I’m so fat.
- I’m so boring
These are real-life example.
Positive Affirmations
Can you imagine what would happen if you actually become your own best friend? Cheer yourself up, acknowledge your achievement and praise your talents.
Positive affirmations are positive thoughts and statements that we tell ourselves to raise our self-esteem and boost our confidence. Like the name suggests, they need to be written in the affirmative and contain only positive words and grammar.
Happiness and joy are not provided my material goods or temporary mood fixers. It is through the process of challenging the way you think and creating a new, more positive one.
Using the negative sentences, start writing yourself positive sentences that you need to hear every day and are true.
- Looking at your negative self-talk from the previous lesson, what is currently making you feel down?
- Challenge the negative beliefs you’ve written down by contrasting them with an opposing positive affirmation.
- Your sentence needs to be written down in the present tense as an obvious and already occurring event.
- Keep it short. The shorter and more concise your affirmation is, the more powerful it will be.
- Make it effective by using words that speak to you. Do not write with anybody but yourself in mind.
Here are some examples of positive affirmations to get you started:
- I am strong.
- I am confident.
- I believe in myself.
- I am important.
- I am brave.
- I love myself.
- I accept myself.
- I am worthy.
- I deserve to be happy.
- I don’t need to be perfect to be accepted.
Choose about five positive affirmations at a time that resonate with our own life and challenge your negative self-talk. Every morning, when you wake up, look at your own reflexion in the mirror and repeat your chosen affirmation three times mindfully. Mindfully means, do not rush through them to get it done. For it to have an impact on your wellbeing, they have to mean something to you. So, say them slowly. Listen to yourself speak. Understand the meaning of each sentence you’re pronouncing.
The more you will do it. The better you will get at it. It will soon become a habit and start having a very positive impact on your mindset. You will feel happier and more relaxed as a result.
Practice this new habit for one week and you will start noticing changes in the way not only you talk but also you think about yourself.
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